My sister and I lost our beloved, adorable, joyful Mother. She was everything to each of us – our best friend, confidant, adviser, and, of course, our Mommy. You could talk to her about anything and everything – from business and politics, to the stock market, to boyfriends when we were younger and marriage when we were older, to academics, to life and love, to just everything.
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When children of wealthy families who live in very affluent communities struggle unsuccessfully to meet the lofty demands and expectations of their parents, resulting failures can cause many to become seriously depressed and to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. Sadly, the resulting downward spiral—one that is difficult to escape—often leads to suicide. Thankfully God can help break that cycle by revealing the values that really matter. That’s exactly what happened on a trip to Africa with my eighteen-year-old son, Zachary.
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When I speak to groups of young people, I always try to positively impact their lives. I thought you might find it useful to hear some of the career advice I’ve given to many of the people I have taught or mentored. I’m going to suggest three tips that can give you a fast start as you enter the workplace.
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When we adopted our daughter Dena, a Korean orphan, at the age of five months in early 1979, we knew only a few basics about her background—that she was given up for adoption by her unwed mother and was living with a foster mother until she could make the long flight to the United States to join our family.
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Even before we realized we could not conceive, Sue and I had decided we would eventually adopt children; we wanted to extend our love to children most in need of such love and nurturing.
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We often read of near-death experiences and tend to discount them as illusions or hallucinations. That all changes when someone close to us—someone we trust and believe unequivocally—has such an experience. That’s exactly what happened to me at the deathbed of my own father, and it was an experience that changed my life.
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During my early years of marriage, I was obsessively driven to succeed in my career. And ironically what helped keep Sue and me together was her response to my nearly all-consuming work-related efforts; she was not only tolerant, but she was supportive of my work habits and time away from the family.
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The power and magnitude of God is not an isolated thing, and it was on another continent that I was reminded of the undeniable truth of God’s hand in human creation. As I observed the incredible durability of the engine that sustains human life – the heart –my faith in God was profoundly reinforced.
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In the mid-1990s, New York Life became aware of an opportunity at the Federal National Mortgage Association (Fannie Mae). With more than $1 trillion in assets, it was the largest financial institution in the world, and we had the chance to offer life insurance to millions of consumers who had obtained mortgages through this agency.
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I had traveled much of the world, but I’d never explored my roots; the task seemed so overwhelmingly difficult that I never gave it a second thought. But in May 2009 when Sue and I decided to take a two-week tour of Eastern Europe, I was excited. We would focus on Poland, the original home of my maternal grandfather, Ignatius Matusiak. The appeal of Poland was fourfold: (1) we had never been there; (2) it was part of my ancestral background; (3) I had always wanted to visit Auschwitz; and (4) the trip was highly recommended by some dear friends who had visited the country several times.
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Even before our marriage, Sue and I shared a love of children and a strong desire to raise a family. We had both enjoyed very happy, traditional childhoods in two-parent families in the lower-middle-class suburbs of Detroit and were eager to provide similar experiences to our own children. Our love for children also led both of us to pursue teaching related careers during the first few years of our marriage.
Read MoreWhile president of New York Life, I had the honor of serving on the boards of trustees of several industry-related associations and organizations. During my service as chairman of The American College in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania, God gave me the gift of developing a friendship—better described as a love affair—with Margaret Bradshaw. It was one I could not have anticipated would change my life in such a dramatic way.
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Beginning in my adolescence, I suffered from classic migraine headaches. Doctors believe that migraine headaches are most commonly stress-related, though external stimuli, such as bright lights, often trigger them. In my case it seemed that most often my migraines were triggered by bright lights: the glare of the sun off of water or the glare of bright lamplight shining on a highly reflective surface, such as the pages of a magazine or a recently waxed and polished linoleum floor.
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